Saturday, April 3, 2010

Starting Over

These past few months I have been out of control. I keep asking myself,
"Why Me? Why are bad things happening to me?" I do these things to me. I
am breaking myself down. I am slowly but surely killing myself. I can't
continue to go on like this. I am determined to start taking care of
Ashley. I'm gonna be twenty-five next month and I have accomplished
NOTHING. I was on the right path. I was determined to be a musician and
allowed god into my life again. I had goals and I achieved them. I was
so mad about SXSW. This was my year. I threw it away. I had it in the
palm of my hand. I'm not just saying these things. 80's Baby was GONNA
HAPPEN.I have to stop thinking about the past. I'm just gonna let go and
let GOD. Since I relapsed, He has shown me that I will not make it
without Him. Absolutely not. At the same time I'm really scared. I know
God is behind me. I will overcome this terrible affliction. I will start
over. I ask that everyone pray for me. This will not be easy. I'm gonna
start blogging again. Sorry for the short post.
--guccililpiggy

2 comments:

Mike Newby said...

Ashley,

You don't even know how awesome it is to read this post from you. I know that you have been going through a lot, however, I do not know the exacts. I am always here if you do want to talk as a just an ear to listen or someone to give feedback and help. I can do either very well (especially just listening, I've always been good at that).

Here's the deal. This blog of yours is HUGE. Absolutely huge. Here's the thing though. This is the easy part; saying you're starting over. Sooo many people say they're starting over and never actually take control. I myself have battled with afflictions, addictions, depressions, relapses, hurts, hangups... I'd love to share these with you if it would help.

Here's the thing. Now you've said you're starting over. You need people in your life who are going to hold you accountable. You need people who are going to be there when you fall, because you will fall. Get around people who are going to help you not hurt you. The ones that aren't going to continue to enable you but are going to enable you to get better, stay on track and be the Ashley you know you can be. You may need even to stop talking to those are not going to help you. I've had to do this before. My best friend whom I spent all my time with I had to push out of my life so that I could move forward. I am totally here for you if you would like.

You are an awesome person with an incredible spirit. It's a blast being around you when your mood is right. I look forward to seeing you accomplish many things and having your dreams come to fruition. I have been praying for you and I hope it's helping. Also, always know God is here even though a lot of the times it feels like he isn't. That's merely our worldly bodies telling us otherwise.

Sincerely,

Mike

.molly.styles. said...

oh, dear. i just love you. mike is right. you need people around you who will love and support you... in the RIGHT ways. i am always just a phone call away. i will be there to help you (i will even bring bacon and pineapple pizza!!!!) whenever you need.

love,
molly